This is my first post in quiet a while. Things have been good in my neck of the woods but I haven’t felt much like writing. I was really busy with work and was struggling with some anxiety problems, which I’m still working on. Now that I have a break from work, I’m really trying to put myself first and take care of me. That includes writing. I wanted to write before because I wanted to BE somebody. I wanted people to watch and clap when I said something clever. It seems so much of my life is dictated by this need for someone to be watching. But I’m really turning that around. I want to do things for myself.
This year is about big change but it’s also about remaining true to myself. I decided to start writing again because I can’t seem to quiet my mind – this time it’s for a good reason.
We are officially trying for a baby!
I am so thrilled but I also feel like I’m walking on eggshells. It’s embarrassing to admit this but the last few times I told people we were trying, my SO changed his mind. It was really hard to handle. But I’m not dwelling on things I can’t change. So now, we are really trying. And because I literally can not keep my mouth shut about it, I have decided to start writing. I told myself I wouldn’t tell anyone were trying but I’ve already told too many people. I need to write about all the things I’ve been obsessing about.
So here’s the story. Watch out, this blog is about to get TMI.
My last period started on December 22. It lasted a few days, as it always does. We officially started trying on December 31. I believe I ovulated on January 6 and that’s where I’m at!
I’m sure no one cares, but I really need a place to spill all my thoughts. I am obsessing obsessing obsessing. I want so badly for this to be the month. I love this potential baby more than anything. I am a crazy crazy lady. Please send me baby dust! This will be an emotional ride but I am so ready.